Kayla Richardson,
Sourcing Lead MCIPS
“The impact hasn’t gone unnoticed. My line manager and others around me have commented on the difference, not just in how I lead, but in how I show up.”
A personal reflection on how the NHSSC Personal Leadership Programme helped me lead with more clarity, courage, and kindness, starting from within.
When I first heard about the Personal Leadership Programme, I’ll admit, I expected another round of leadership theory delivered through endless PowerPoint slides. I’ve sat through plenty of those, and while some had value, many felt disconnected from the reality of leading in a fast-paced, people-driven environment.
Still, I chose to keep an open mind. I reminded myself that growth often comes from unexpected places—and I’m so glad I did.
What unfolded was far from what I anticipated. This wasn’t just about leadership in the traditional sense. It was about personal leadership, understanding myself, my values, my impact, and how I show up in the spaces that matter most. It challenged me to think differently, reflect deeply, and connect with others in ways that felt both authentic and empowering.
One of the most unexpected and transformative parts of the programme was exploring my family of origin. At first, I wasn’t sure how this would connect to leadership, but it turned out to be a turning point in how I understood myself. Through reflection and guided exercises and support from Fiona MacNeill, I began to see how my early experiences shaped my beliefs, behaviours, and emotional responses, especially in high-pressure conversations.
I realised that some of the patterns I thought were “just part of who I am” were actually learned responses. And more importantly, they were changeable. This awareness gave me the space to pause and choose a different way of showing up. I started to shift from being emotionally reactive to being more grounded and factual. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or defensive, I found myself able to reflect on what was working, what wasn’t, and how I could communicate with clarity and purpose.
A defining moment came when I received feedback that felt vague and surface-level. It lacked detail and context, and my initial reaction was frustration. I felt defensive and even a little angry. I couldn’t see the value in it and was left questioning what the real issue was.
But instead of letting those feelings take over, I turned to one of the tools we explored, the What’s Working Grid. It helped me shift from reaction to reflection. I used it to unpack the situation, explore what might be underneath the feedback, and identify what was actually working and what wasn’t.
That process gave me clarity. I approached the feedback giver with curiosity rather than confrontation and initiated a ‘Fierce Conversation’. While the outcome didn’t change, the conversation did. I gained insight into specific examples of where my behaviour had been perceived in a certain way, and that gave me something tangible to reflect on. It wasn’t easy but it was powerful. That moment taught me that leadership isn’t about being right or praised. It’s about leaning into discomfort, seeking understanding, and growing from it.
One of the biggest shifts in my leadership has been learning to pause, to take a moment before responding and let silence do the heavy lifting. That space has become a tool, not a gap. It allows me to think more clearly, listen more deeply, and respond with intention.
I’ve also learned to come out from behind myself to be both brave and vulnerable in having Fierce Conversations. These aren’t always easy, but they’re honest, and they’ve helped me build trust and clarity in my relationships at work. I’m no longer avoiding difficult conversations; I’m leaning into them with kindness, transparency, and a mindset of growth.
The impact hasn’t gone unnoticed. My line manager and others around me have commented on the difference, not just in how I lead, but in how I show up. And that recognition fills my bucket with happiness. It’s not just about feeling good; it’s about passing that energy on to others, regardless of their role or level.
Acting with kindness, being transparent, and approaching leadership with honesty has been mind-blowingly powerful. It’s reshaped how I connect with people, how I make decisions, and how I support those around me.
This journey hasn’t been about quick fixes or overnight transformation. Personal leadership takes time, reflection, and a willingness to challenge yourself. But if you show up with an open mind and an open heart, the impact can be profound.
So, I invite you to join me in embracing a new way of leading. One that’s grounded in the core principles we explored together:
- Thinking Environments – creating space for others to think clearly and be heard.
- Fierce Conversations – speaking with courage, clarity, and compassion.
- Strengths-Based Leadership – focusing on what’s working and building from there.
- Adult-to-Adult Communication – engaging with honesty, respect, and accountability.
- Kindness and Transparency – leading with integrity and empathy, no matter the role or level.
These principles have reshaped how I lead, how I connect, and how I grow. And while the journey continues, I’m proud of the steps I’ve taken and excited for what’s ahead.